Hey, there fellow mamas.
There has been this notion that we as moms have to enjoy every single moment we have with our kids. The number one thing that we hear all the time is “Enjoy every minute because it goes by so fast” or “You blink, and they are all grown up”. While this maybe true, there is a guilty feeling that we have as moms, when we don’t enjoy Every. Single. Moment. AND THAT’S OK! Here are some secrets to enjoying motherhood and letting go of mom-guilt.
This post may contain affiliate links. This means if you make a purchase using these links, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. Thanks for supporting Messy Mama Nest! Read my Disclaimer here.
“Being a mom is harder than I expected”
Our Stories are all different.
We all have our unique stories about how we got here, and our journey of motherhood is all different, but I do know that the stuff that isn’t talked about, the feelings that moms have during pregnancy and postpartum can be scary and we all experience it in some form. Support and talking about these things more frequently can be a beautiful thing.
Therefore, I am doing what I am doing and getting my words and thoughts out there, in hopes that it will help just one other mom. Someone like me, who isn’t always the first to reach out, or ask for help. We get to come together to support each other.
Are you a stay-at-home mom that struggle with the balance between kids’ needs and your own? Self-Care, what’s that? Or are you a mom that works full time, and feels bad that someone else is raising your kids because you have to be at work more than they are at home with your family? And honestly, you may have experienced both and you struggle to make either work well.
Do you feel guilty and get frustrated with your kids and wished you could be alone? Have you ever wondered what’s wrong with you and why you cant fully enjoy this time? You are NOT alone. It’s called motherhood and I have found some secrets to enjoying motherhood and being able to let go of those unrealistic expectations that we place on ourselves.
“I felt guilty not spending 100% of my time with my kids”
The Secrets to Enjoying Motherhood:
1. Change the way you talk to yourself…
Know that it’s ok to have these feelings. Honor them and tell them “Thank you for being there but I don’t need you”. If we use kind, loving words towards ourselves, it resonates throughout your life and everyone in it.
The power of intention and the law of attraction, meaning what you put out into the universe is what you will get back, ten fold. Click here to get one of my favorite books. I hope it assists you like it did for me!
2. Schedule some YOU TIME (at least once a week).
Sometimes we lose some parts of our identity after becoming a mom. It is important to have scheduled times during the week to do you, boo. Treat yourself! Join a sport, go shopping, spa day with a friend or your spouse/partner, cuddle up and read a good book.
Sometimes just getting outside and moving our body can rejuvenate and ignite your soul. Go for a walk, yoga, gym, really anything that gets “YOU” back! Filling up your cup first will make you a better mom, partner, and parent. Your mental health will feel easier to manage and your outlook and patience will shift.
3. Ask for Assistance.
It ok to join a mom’s group on social media, ask family or friends to help with things around the house, or to watch your kids so you can have your scheduled “you time”. Or find a blogging mom with a similar voice as the one in your head, that resonates with you (wink, wink).
Asking for help is hard, believe me. I know. But truly, it works, and it brings us together as a mama community.
4. Make Cleaning up FUN.
Cleaning up after two kids is cringe worthy, am I right? There is stuff everywhere ALL. THE. TIME! I want to install good cleaning habits in my boys so, we make cleaning up into games. Here are a few…
- Clean up Freeze Dance- This is where you play (loud) some fun music and each kiddo cleaning up as fast as they can. Mind you, make sure they are putting things away in the right places. But, when the music stops, they freeze until the music plays again. Repeat.
- Sneaky Shark- This one is a house favorite. We probably end up laughing more than we actually clean, but it is fun. Mommy usually is the shark first and I stand in the middle of the room with my eyes closed. Everyone else must try to sneak across the room, trying to clean up toys without the shark hearing you. If the shark attacks and tags you before you can put the toy away, then that person is now the new shark, and you continue.
- Mama Race- This one is great because you can get something done for yourself too. So, how this one works is; the kids each have tasks to do, maybe it’s clear and set the dinner table, maybe it’s straightening up their room and make their bed, or even just picking up their toys and books. Then you pick something like make or pre dinner, fold laundry, sweep or vacuum. And then the race is on! Whoever finishes their tasks first wins!
- Messy Scavenger Hunt – With this one, I will write out or draw pictures (for my 2-year-old) to go and find the things on the list and put them away. I put things like shoes, socks, backpacks, books, hot wheels (because those are all over the house on a regular basis.) You can set a timer or race each other to see who can get through their list first.
These are just a few of our favorites but there are so many more, be creative and get your kids involved. It may even give you a tiny break!
5. Dishes and Laundry can wait.
Sometimes it is important to let go of expectations that the house needs to be cleaned before you can do anything else. This is a hard one for me. I like having a clean house. But, sometimes enjoying a family game, a book with my boys or a movie can be very cleansing and will shift some of the harsh beliefs about being a perfect mom.
6. Create Memories and Adventures.
These are the things your kids will remember, not if your house was spotless or the 200th hot wheel that now lives under the couch. I know it can be hard to find time for big trips and overnighters can be expensive. So, get creative, do scavenger hunts in the neighborhood, find a new trail, or make a rock maze.
Ask your kids what they want to do outside? See what they come up with, you may be surprised that it doesn’t matter what they are doing as long as it’s with you.
The Realization
Come to the realization that if you are good, mentally available, and have created time for yourself, you will create more space for grace and courage. Courage to know that there will be great days and there will be days that are a major struggle. The guilt and the sadness started to melt away and you will have the courage to accept the bad days and know that it will be ok!
Letting go of these expectations that parenting and motherhood is this picture-perfect thing, is freeing. It’s ok that life with kids is messy, being a mama makes it all worth it.
Give yourself permission to unleash your badass mama-ness and know you can handle any type of day moving forward. Be kind to yourself, have patience and know that you CAN. (even if that means a few tears, or a messy house. It’s all good mama!)
Cheers to another parenting win. Wishing you success and lots of patience!
Love,
Trista
Click here to check out some of my other posts on realistic parenting. Subscribe to my email newsletter to be updated when there is a new post!
Morgan
Awesome advise- and I love that book- very empowering! Helps you not to question & over analyze everything.
Trista
Thanks Morgan! Yes, that is one of my favorite books! Thanks for your comment!!
Suzanne Gelfound
It is so important to not forget about yourself. Thank you for this post. When we feel lost, so much of our life starts to feel that way. Take some guilt free me time ❤️
Trista
Suzanne, yes! Thank you for reading and I completely agree. We get to take time for us too which will assist us to be better parents!
Nile Flores
I think the best advice I’ve ever given, was about spending more time with the kids. If you have to shut the computers and phones down, then do it. Kids grow up so fast. My kid is in college and it feels like I blinked and 20 years had passed so fast.
Trista
Thanks, Nile! Yes, that really is great advice. Find fun things to do with your kids and connect with them. Thanks for your comment!
Katie
I love this. I like your list for making cleaning fun. Cleaning can be hard but it’s such better when my kids are involved and we are all making it fun.
Trista
Thanks, Katie! I completely agree. I have also seen my older son, now turn cleaning up into games with his little brother! so cute!
דירות דיסקרטיות בבת ים
I was more than happy to discover this site. I wanted to thank you for your time just for this fantastic read!! I definitely really liked every little bit of it and I have you book-marked to look at new information in your website.
Trista
Thank you so much for following. Feel free to subscribe to the newsletter so that you don’t miss out on new blog posts and special info.